The Sorting Hat

The sorting hat is sitting on a chair in front of you. "my oh my, it's been 1 whole year" the sorting hat says to the school as it looks at the students crouded around the great hall. "so who's first?" The sorting hat stairs at the students waiting for a student to come forth and see their fste!

Philip E. Smith steps forward, he puts on the sorting hat and stills on the stool - waiting to be sorted.

"Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep you bowlers black,
And your top hats sleek and tall
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought be
You might belong in Gryffindor
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

I think "Could you be a little quicker and tell me what house I'm in. Not to be rude of course, but I'm in a hurry."

"why, how could you be in a hurry when you have the whole term?"

I think "I'm hungry, and I need some of that food for the feast, so be quick, so I don't die."

"ok i will tell you....

ahmmmmmmm ahmmmmmm ahmmmmmm" the hat does a small dance... "ahmmmm ahmmmm ahmmmmm... you are in... ahmmmmm..."

hat falls to the floor.... "i'm sorry i forghot what i was about to say... can you pick me up please?"

I pick up the hat and put it on my head.

"thank you... i see your interlect. I will put you in house... RAVENCLAW!"

I take the hat off and run over to the Ravenclaw table.